The music holds a lot of powerful energy that is cumulating within our minds, shapes our memories, amplifies feelings and influences our mood. Beside writing Music is the most important art in my life. I believe I could go on without writing, but never without music.
Not sure about you, my valued reader, but when I hear some old music, that I didn’t hear in a long time, it immediately transforms me in the person I was back than, reminding me who I’ve used to be, pulling up massive anchors of feelings and memories together.
The beginning days of my writing were initiated when I was going through deep personal soul searching. I used to be inherently unhappy when I was left by myself and my thoughts. For the most part of my life I was extremely happy person, but between 15 and 17, I had to go a lot of self reinventing to reach a point where I was happy with myself.
Violent personal transformations
The characteristic that followed me was reluctance to accept the status quo, never did I accept the situation as a reality. Growing up with a veil of arrogance, and afterwards landing to the ground and being back to my old approachable self. My assumption is that my “stone-coldness” was a consequence of not feeling completely realized as a person, and inherently rejected by society. But from this perspective I am not really sure, was I the one who was ostracizing myself from the society, because no matter how hard I wanted to express my ecccentrism, I always seemed to have people around myself. Ultimately I believe that the alleged solitude was self invoked and not based in reality.
So not sure how much my qualms of solitude were biased in the feelings or how much were they…